A Horse of Course Not?

Correct me if I'm wrong but what the FUCK is the deal with cops on Horseback trotting down Biscayne Blvd like its a super bowl Bud commercial? I'm mean seriously, are we in the wild west? What purpose can it possibly serve? I just want you all to imagine the scene this morning at the local police department. It seems some clown cop decided that enforcing the crime element in often shady Downtown Miami requires SEABISCUIT. Last time I checked the horse has been updated since the days of yore...its called either the motorcycle or even his sissy sister "bike". Can we get these cops a golf cart or at the very least some ass powder from riding that thing all day?

Honestly, if I'm a criminal about to get the job done I'm probably more worried about the results of last nights women's basketball game then a cop on a caballo. I think pony cops actually encourage crime more than anything. Gunfight at the O.K. Corral...Gables? Really?

And do you really think our friend Mr. Ed is having a good time out there in the 80 degree weather? Well, he is not. I speak fluent horse due to my family racing and owning horses most of my life. When I rolled down the window the horse goes "I need a fat cop on my back like I need a baseball bat across the face". That was enough for me. Went home pissed enough to write this blog.

Also, in this economy its hard enough to find a job as a midget and now cops want to rape another one of the small man's options. MAKES ME SICK. Word Association: Horse is to Midget Jockey as Dounut diving-High Divorce Rate having-drug planting-dick is to Cop. A bit much? Maybe.

Some may say "Hey bro, a horse cop gives us that warm fuzzy small town feel that we big cities lack...besides, cops are more approachable on horse than inside a cop car". Now, before I bash this simpleton theory...its true, we do live in a time where cops are about as down to earth as Christian Bale on the set of Terminator. Asking a cop for directions or help with a flat tire would more likely draw guns and arrest than actual help these days. All that aside I am a city dwelling Liberal. FUCK MAIN STREET. I'm so sick of hearing all about this mythological "Main St." But that's a whole other blog I can charge up later. Whats next? Are my cops gonna be wearing snowflake sweaters serving eggnog on Grand Ave while a crackhead breaks into my car? No thanks Skippy.