Fire in the Hole

In light of yet another slew of shooting frenzies in America, it has come to my obvious conclusion that we cannot be trusted with sling shots much less fire arms.

I think we can all agree that most of our countrymen are dumb as cat shit. There is overwhelming evidence of this. I mean, we voted Bush Jr. in twice and made Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian famous for getting pounded harder than a gerbil at Richard Gere's happy camp. Seriously, I don't trust people enough to fold my taco bell food correctly yet I'm supposed stand with the gun-ho gun hoes at the NRA. Conservatives have fought gun control for years citing the American pastime of hunting small and ferociously furry deer, quail and duck while thousands of students, coworkers and bystanders are the ones getting fucked. Has anyone seen a hunting show recently on Spike TV? These guys look like they're in a porn except when I wait for a hot bunny to come out and get poked, it's actually a real bunny getting smoked.

It really kicks my ass when some of my own friends defend our gun toting American culture. They speak about getting prepared for the possibility of them being victimized. They look at a situation where kids get shot at school and say "See, if the teachers and students ALL had guns, they could have stopped the shooters or at least given them a good fight." Its this type of ass clown thinking that has our country ranked at the top of the Moron charts. Imagine a wild west America where everybody walks around strapped waiting for the paranoid sniff of danger, horn honking will become obsolete!

It is my belief that merely bringing a gun into the equation triples the chance of somebody pushing up daisies. Some asshole with a gun tries to take my wallet usually wants money not a murder wrap. Chances are, if I pull a gun instead of my money clip, that lowlife probably knows his way around a gun more than I. Basically I've successfully turned losing 50 bucks, a credit card and my hole punched subway sandwich cards into getting bucked at with a hole punched up my ass. No thanks. Take the money, I was gonna probably spend it on crap anyways. Having a gun at home is harmless, right? Not if you're this lady.

http://www.kfdm.com/articles/hanel-33000-montgomery-husband.html

Some people are even more amazing. They compare gun control to Fidel Castro and the Communist takeover of Cuba. They believe that Americans need to be armed in case of a "big government takeover" of our civil liberties and possible revolution. Like if Farmer Fran and his Ole' McDonald shotgun is theoretically going to stop a tank rolling down US1. Everybody needs get their head out of their ass on this one.

Guns make nobody safe.